Book Excerpt from Get Smart! About Modern Stress Management Your Personal Guide to Living a Balanced Life

Get Smart! Decision-Making Of course you want to make more educated and enlightened decisions relating to the balance in your life, or you wouldn’t be reading this book. And truly, the best way to revitalize your life is to change your attitude and the way you think about stress. The Get Smart! decision-making approach to stress management includes raising your self-awareness, utilizing active reflection, listening to your intuitive guidance, and then making an educated decision. Throughout this book, you will be raising your self-awareness. It is important to know that if at any time you feel lost or confused, that you go back to the initial step of understanding yourself because the person who truly knows himself or herself is the person most capable of making smart decisions.

We’ve all heard of people who use “half a brain” when making decisions or those who make a half-hearted attempt at changing their lives for the better. Get Smart! reminds us that we need to use our whole brain and whole heart when making important life decisions.  The fact that we were given these special gifts is proof enough that we have the capability of getting smarter about our own stress management.

In life, we struggle with our inner knowing and outer information. We usually make decisions based on the outer information, rather than intuition. When this happens, we usually get what we think we want from life, instead of getting what we need. Oftentimes, what we think we want to do with our life is not what we need to do. Our Spirit sees what is right for us and knows that we are meant to do something else. If we could only learn to follow our deepest intuition, we would end up with everything we need and want--including the right job, the right person, the right life. We just have to be open to what comes to us wrapped in a different package than what we expected!

If you don’t know what you want, you will change your mind all the time---going back and forth, making one decision one minute and then changing your mind again.

This kind of waffling leads to self-doubt about your ability to make smart decisions, and the more you doubt your ability, the more you go back and forth.  You must learn to make a decision and then stick with it. You must commit to a lifelong program of taking care of your mind, body, and spirit.

There are many reasons why people in the modern worldare stressed out, including lack of control over time, information overload, feelings of disconnectedness, high cost of living, increased competition, advanced technology, personal and professional change, and a more complex and paradoxical society. No one can deny that life is more complicated today than any other time in our history. Even at the turn of the century, people led simple lives and had the combined support of family and community resources.

Nowadays, we live a more complicated lifestyle and have lost much of our support in our families and communities. Even with all of the technology that connects us, we remain relatively disconnected. Our sense of independence has led to a sense of isolation and more stress to shoulder alone. Thus, most of us tend to live life from a survival mode. But we don’t have to! We can learn to call on spiritual support to ease our stress and make our lives easier.

Survival Mode

Existence

Life/world controls us

Forgetting/Reacting

Disconnected

Abuse and power rule

Ego-based

Competition and individualism

Fight or flight

Animalistic instincts: “Kill or be killed”

Spiritual Mode

Enjoyment

We are in charge of our life

Learning/creating

Connected

Love and empowerment rule

Spirit-based

Cooperation and community

Allow and accept

Humanistic instincts: “Love and be loved”

Life Happens

Whole-life planning includes the areas of love, labor, leisure, and learning. Each dimension is an expression of who you are. In all areas, you need to feel empowered and in control and that you have power to direct and create the kind of life you desire. You need to have a strategy to help you experience what you want in each area, while remaining open to other possibilities.

Your ego/survival mode believes you can plan your entire life out. While it is true you can have a general idea, there are just too many external influences that cause unexpected twists and turns, to become overly attached to the way you think your life is supposed to look. You need to let go and allow life to unfold as it is intended. Instead of resisting barriers, obstacles, or stressors, you can lean into them trusting that Spirit will guide you in the right direction. Embrace the unexpected in life—life’s surprises are actually gifts. How many times have you said, “Who would have ever expected that I ‘d be doing______?” Usually once you get used to the idea, you are happy about it, but it wasn’t exactly how you planned your life to be.

Your ability to handle stress from a spiritual mode is linked to inner resources such as peace, the ability to let go, and the wisdom to remain unattached to people, places, and situations. It is when you become attached to the outcome—your need for acceptance by a certain person or group of people---that the experience elicits a stress reaction. If you are at ease on the inside, it will show on the outside.

If you do not handle the stress in your life, it will cost you in more ways than one! Stress is the #1 reason for doctor’s visits; not only will you lose money, but also time and energy. The feelings of stress come from your perception of the event/situation, and whether you view it as positive or negative. A stress management program is a regular and consistent program of thoughts and activities designed to reduce stress. By becoming smart, being proactive, and taking control, you will be able to handle whatever life gives you in a more positive and productive way.

Get Smart!

 The #1 reason people get sick is due to stress-related symptoms.  It is no longer what you are eating, but what is

eating you!

Top 11 Modern-Day Stressors

The World Health Organization has called stress a “modern day epidemic, affecting every person in every nation, regardless of race or class.” People all over the earth suffer from modern-day stress. One of the biggest causes of stress is change. There are three major forces of change: people, technology, and information. As our population grows, we generate more ideas, things and technology. The more information and knowledge we have access to, the morewe know we can do, the higher our expectations become.

This creates a state of striving for more, and not feeling satisfied. Feeling unfulfilled, combined with the increased kinds of unique stressors, has contributed to stress being a modern-day health concern.

In the modern world, there are big and small stressors, such as everyday hassles, petty annoyances, and irritations. This usually causes us to feel pressured and frustrated.

Pressure is when we feel forced to speed up, intensify or shift direction in our behavior, or when we feel compelled to meet a higher standard of performance.

Frustration is when something or someone prevents us from reaching our goal (delays, lack of resources, losses, or failure). What follows is a list of modern day stressors. Pay attention to the ones that give you an “emotional charge.”

Telemarketing

The salesperson who calls you at home to sell you a product or service. This modern day annoyance has caused millions to rely on caller id and other privacy devices.

Electronic Marketing

This is when unsolicited e-mails are sent to your e-mail account. This is known as spamming (and is illegal).

Junk Mail

Again, another form of marketing, where you receive sales letters in the mail.

Gridlock Traffic

This is happening in most states across the country and is not only aggravating, but also down-right dangerous.

Violence and Crime

The increased numbers of crimes committed combined with the extensive media coverage makes the world seem very unsafe.

Information Overload

The need to feel like we have to know everything about everything, evident by the sheer number of television shows, magazines, books, and Internet websites.

Credit Card Debt

The financial burden and mental strain consumer debt causes does to millions of people is at an all time high.

Poor Customer Service

When service people treat customers/clients with little or no respect, care, or concern.

Land Over-Development

Everywhere you look, builders are erecting another strip mall, gas station, or fast food restaurant.

Business/Company Voicemail

When you call a customer service line only to hear an automated voice or worse yet, to get disconnected after waiting for an hour!

Over-Population

The human population continues to grow at an alarming rate, and the more people there are, the more competition for resources we will have.